Will you Help Me?

It started off a little better
But then better is determined by ones perception of good isn't It?
However,  regardless of what any perception held
A lot of things then were as they should.
You seemed to like me.
You appeared to care
For a long time I was actually convinced we were both heading somewhere.

It wasn't all about you then.
For awhile it was the most natural thing
Hearing you refer to us.
But clearly from my use of past tense
What has been is not what was.

You let me down.
Or was it I that failed You?
I wish I could say this isn't about faults but someone has to be responsible.
Maybe we should share the blame
Since us comprises of at least two.
But if you claim I am to be blamed...
Would it be for what I did or did not Do?

Is it because I never cursed you back every single time you cursed Me?
Is it because I didn't covet and lust after another
Claiming your love was unsatisfactory?
Is it because I never complained when you made boast of the countless with whom you were constantly Cheating?
is it because I always welcomed you back, despite how much I was hurting?

Is it because I refused to resent you for not knowing my favorite song's Lyrics?
Is it because I kept hoping that you would be true to me and end your Gimmicks?
Is it because I adored you  with every bit of the space that is Me?
Is it because after receiving your spite and blows, I still wait for you to heal Me?

What is My fault?
What wrong have I Done?
Other than existing, where else have I gone Wrong?
I have been mistreated so and yet you're the one threatening to leave me.
I've wept so many nights, still waiting for the morning.
Why did you stop Caring?

My blood has been spilled.
My joy has been killed.
My fertility you've treated like a curse.
With all the good I've offered
You jumped bad and turned them worse.
I've been robbed, I've been beaten. I've been scorned and abused.
At the very times I needed your defending, it seems my woes only got you amused.

How can I grow when you won't let me Breathe?
How can I give you life when you always make me Bleed?
I can't convince you to stay
And yet you're all I have left.
The fact that you've let things get this way,
Hurts me to my depth.
From my younger days to my years of youth
I've watched you walk around with a blindfold,
Scared of this truth.
I'm a grown now, and getting older everyday.
If you don't do something, I won't stop being the tragedy you made.

Don't turn away. Don't feel pity for me or cry.
Take responsibility,  or watch me die.
Revive our relationship.  Love me like you should.
Stop looking down on me like I was never good.
I can be that way again. I'll never stop hoping.
So if you've wished me happy birthday...
I hope that's your way of saying you'll help me.
♥

Happy Birthday #Nigeria.
We're sorry.
We'll fix us.
We'll help you. :)

xxx, Kwiksie ♡♡♡