Tell Me About Yourself

"So, tell me about yourself."

He gives me this instruction flippantly.
But he doesn't seek a serious response apparently.
Since we began conversing, I'd identified his real interest;
One that his eyes declared before his lips formed a sentence.
It really wasn't difficult, he made it plain as day
And although my face kept his attention for a bit,
Clearly my chest held more sway.
The three layers of clothing I'd hoped would be my shield
Had failed at the job that was supposed to be in their field.
Rendering my precautionary steps pointless
Because with minds like his,
Even if I wore a steel armor, I'd still be undressed.

But he asked a question, and I digress.
I wonder what answer would be easiest for him to process...

Shall I tell him the bad, do I exaggerate the good?
Will it matter to him that at the moment my 3 little ones have had no food?
Do I go into details, or would he want plain facts?
I have been diagnosed with diabetes -
How about we talk on that?
I'm working to pay my fees at school,
To my last two exes I was a tool.
I used to steal at one time,
My father abandoned us when I was nine.
I've had to raise my siblings cus y'know,
Mom's got drinking problems - and keeps falling for jerks like you.
I struggled with depression in my teens because
It was unlikely that anyone could resist hating all that I was.
My body has always gotten me in trouble.
In fact, my last boss fired me and said I'd do better at a brothel.
I used to smile more when I was little.
I did that for a few more years -
But pretending life is good became too difficult
So I grew content with drowning in my tears.
I have a good voice, but I never sing.
Someone wanted to marry me once,
But my best friend stole the ring.
I've got a million questions about life, eternity, and Jesus.
I really I love my family and want to know if He would actually save us!
I need a break soon because I can feel myself slipping.
I'd call out for help one more time, but I've lost my voice asking.

But then, he doesn't REALLY want to know this girl.
So I pull up my camisole real high and shrug.

"There's nothing to tell."

xxx, Kwiksie.

"The Woman I Want To Be" series (5)

 The woman who is sensitive to the needs of others.

  We are instructed in 1 Peter 5:7 to cast all our cares upon you because you care for us. I want to be able to truthfully say I care for others just like you do Father. Let me live out the evidence of my love for you by taking active measures to feed your sheep as well as attend to those yet to become members of the fold. I refuse to be a self-centered, self-serving, self-absorbed waste of your creative energy. I refuse to lay the negative example of seeking to satisfy my wants and what I assume are needs, prior to doing what you desire. Use me as your instrument of encouragement, replenishment and healing, that my arms may ever be open to those you send to me and my heart ever unbiased to attend to them effectively. Let me make conscious effort to prioritize the well-being of your creations over my comfort and convenience and let me not turn away any person whom you have put me in the position to help.

I see humanity the way You do and do all I can to get them closer to fathoming your love.

I can say that this was probably one of the toughest for me...but then, that's why i'm not doing it on my own. I've met folks who feel insulted when you try to help them, and then there are others who have so many trust issues that any gesture just has to have an ulterior motive. Some imagine they can take advantage of you and make you their doormats while some others want to be spoon-fed till their old and gray.

And i could go on and on....

For awhile, i really struggled with trying to figure out how to handle each situation in the best way possible. Problem was, i had no idea what the best way was. Now though, thanks to a better understanding of God's word, i've realised there's always an answer in scripture with directives on how to respond to some tight situations where you're torn between being a 'good Christian' and just getting yourself frustrated. There are several occasions where a thorough analysis of the situation and careful plotting of an appropriate reaction doesn't help none. Just let Him lead you. Whether you're clueless or feel you can handle it yourself. My recommendation is that we just get into the word. Get in deep until we know it on a sub-conscious level so that when some cases arise and we're not-so-sure how to handle it, all the Holy Spirit need do is remind us of the things already buried in our hearts and give us guidance on how to apply them to the situation.

Well, i hope the series so far has been an encourager and blessing to someone. I might not complete it till October though, for variety sake. ;)
Anyway, I totally look forward to an amazing September with you all. Peace! :D

xxx, Kwiksie.~