Showing posts with label Healing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Healing. Show all posts

Thursday, 24 December 2015

A Tale of Him and Her - Part 2



He was strong, and her hopes lifted.

She never made any demands, but if she was ever asked, his strength was all she wanted. Although the things that necessitated its build up broke her heart, she was too foreign to affluence and power to offer him any assistance with that. She dared not judge his claimed cruelty because his poorly hidden loneliness was so familiar it nearly bore her name; even though hers’ was rooted in anguished poverty, and his was an offshoot of emptiness centered in fame. They had so much in common, and yet no two persons could differ more. Still to her he was remarkable, especially since he refrained from treating her like the floor.

For all his lofty tales of a bitter man with whom no one could cope, all she saw in him was a frustrated fellow with too many bottled hopes. There was no one to talk to, no one who cared to understand. Tragically, although she did, there was no way she could provide for him a friend. He glanced at his watch again and her heart sunk; reality was returning just when her fantasies nearly had her drunk. What a fool she’d been to imagine this novel experience could offer her change; and even though this encounter was one she’d cherish, it would also remind her of what couldn’t be – again and again. To her that would be the worst torture and regardless of what she desperately longed for, she knew this person sitting across from her could never be her savior. He had his ample demons to fight and hers had already crushed her existence into darkness, so all she determined to do was endlessly wish his would leave before they drove him to madness.
___________________________________________________________________

She was quiet and he was brooding.

She felt very uncomfortable walking beside him. All of a sudden he seemed really angry and she couldn’t help but think she must have done something. She started to form a question but it stuck in her throat. She hated to leave with the thought that she’d made herself yet another person he'd loath.

The images his mind conjured of her lack of safety were disturbing and briefly the thought came to follow her to where she was returning. It was dashed however, the moment it crossed his mind. If by such behavior she weren’t repulsed or frightened, she’d be likely to conclude his sanity was timed.

-----------------

Just before they stopped her a taxi, they caught sight of a little lady heading their way and waving. From physical appearance, the little lady couldn’t have been over twelve years old but by the time she got to their side and began speaking, it shocked them that she was so bold! The little lady didn’t delay on small talk and the like, but instead told them both very plainly that she’d been led to give them some advice. She confirmed cluelessness of their identity and what they were going through, but claimed to have a message for them from someone who knew. Before they could look around properly and ask who’d done the leading, the little lady asked them if they were aware that they stood in need of saving. He looked at her and she looked at him, neither could figure out what the little lady was saying. When she noticed this, she offered a story as explanation.

The little one began telling of this King who’d suffered worse things than any human at the hands of the people He loved. They treated him more inhumanely than anyone else, without regard for His heart or worth. They were all lawless and committed heinous crimes for which they’d have had to pay with their lives – that is, if the King hadn’t intervened in time. Eventually, He was brutally killed in their place and ironically, though the King had chosen to put His life on the line, they assumed they’d forcefully taken it at the time.

At his confused look and her sad one, the little lady smiled sweetly and went on.

The King didn’t stay dead however, His father got Him up three days later and after that, all the people could escape their deserved death for their wrongs; but only if they believed the efficacy of and responded in gratitude to the King’s gift of life from then on. The point was, though currently both their lives seemed crammed with emptiness and they probably felt they’d individually witnessed the worst variations of humanity’s selfishness, there could be more to the story than just the pain they were going through; especially since the most relevant story really was that of the King, what He did, and what people could choose to let Him do. Because though people made mistakes the King never made one, and humanity was at its worst when they murdered the only truly perfect individual, in place of millions of guilty ones.

The little lady turned to him and assured him that the satisfaction from repaying people’s insincerity with variations of his, would still not satisfy him nor lead to the fulfillment of his dreams. Plus, the echoes from the void within won’t lessen until he let it get filled by the One whose love was everlasting. To her, the little lady grinned broadly and stated plainly that the King considered her perfect, contrary to what might have been said that left her battered physically and emotionally battered. However, that perfection could only find its proper expression if she learnt from Him because, after all, He’d been perfect longer than she’d known of her imperfections or the sorrows of failing.

Stepping back, the little lady spoke her summary: the savior for whom she’d been earlier wishing was the King and not he; and he could find an even truer person in the King who’d died to save them both than in she.

Grinning again, the little lady sauntered off; leaving him and her standing by the road, deep in thought…




THE END
xxx, Kwiksie. :)
Merry Christmas in Advance!❤👶†ðŸ‘‘

Wednesday, 8 April 2015

I Survived You




You’re the reason I have life
But you would have been the death of me.

I wish I’d known better than to hope you’d stutter
When you aimed them poison tipped words at my heart,
- One after another.
Eventually I became the un-recyclable due to consistent misuse,
And very much aware that by this fact you were almost amused.
But shortly after truth moved in to my mind i realized
That I’m the one who let you make me a believer in lies.

I considered blaming Daddy
when i paused from blaming you.
-After all he’s the one who didn’t want me-
But then neither did you.
That’s how rejection became my teddy
We'd cuddle each night as i fell asleep.
I’d shut my eyes hoping to shut out
Yells about who you were never meant to keep.
But alas, my eye shutting didn't leave me deaf and.
With time all the pains worsened
And the so familiar vacuum increased
- And I tried desperately to find treatment -
Because all this feeling was my disease.

So I tried to cut me out and leave behind a shell
Because that won’t ever be affected by the hurt he had to share.
But my blade must’ve been blunt and thus it left life in me.
It's as though even inanimate objects were out to make me unhappy!
The word happiness itself was a stranger but I craved its acquaintance
Which is why every note writ ended up in the bin
With that repeated pain-infused, self-death sentence.
I needed a distraction but my pain had my full attention
And it wasn't till after mistaking my body for dents in a vehicle,
That he realized I wasn't worth his exercise and perspiration-
Thus he walked out.

I let it matter till it became my atmosphere.
Convinced that for blood to reject me, I'd be unwanted everywhere
You never seemed interested enough to say something
So I gave up on you both thanks to your indifference and his abusing
Thinking if my partial creators found me so wanting,
Then I must be in need of some major correcting.
But all the grafting and patching I did further ripped me
Till I avoided everything I could be reflected in.
A death diet was the next place I sought relief
Perhaps a variety of tastes would alleviate the grief?
However gorging myself didn’t quite numb me ---
I needed to find more effective pain feed.

The pills first seemed to be helping
When Insomnia somehow became normalcy;
Because the nightmares wouldn’t let me dream of better days
And all my days I lived in depression’s dark hallway.
However soon I couldn’t cope if I’d not ‘popped’ some
-all I ever really wanted was lasting oblivion.
Consciousness had never seemed to add value, and so
If my body had to stay – maybe my mind could go?

But nothing worked, I was miserable, and you cared not.
Till the flower of hope in my mind began to rot.
Whatever made me think you would ever choose to change?
Either way, whatever it was and I got disengaged.
With time I walked away, determined to never look back
and on the way, someone trained me to get my life on track
Now I’m all grown up but found a new beginning
Daily learning to leave the past that wouldn't let joy in.
The cavity in my heart's gotten a permanent filling
So I'm done existing...yeah mom, I'm living.



Dedicated to everyone who's been through (going through) some deep stuff.
Thank God you survived//have held on this long.
Just remember...Jesus will ALWAYS be the answer. :) <3



xxx, Kwiksie~

Tuesday, 13 January 2015

Thank You For The Now



The betrayal, the pain, the regrets, and the tears.
They were all I ever knew, and they knew me best.
I never got to understand my own actions,
I gave my all too soon and in return received piercing fractions.
Thus each blow to my heart signaled my eyes to express sorrow...
And I taught myself to dread all my tomorrows.
But you've managed to bring me from that point,
Though I can't fully explain how.
So in spite of my dim yesterdays,
At least I can thank you for the now.

None of them ever cared and they didn't pretend they wanted to.
We were alone and wounded and had never even heard of You.
My fury was worthless, fantasies of revenge the only lifeline.
I couldn't protect anyone and growing up took way too much time.
It went on almost forever, and my hatred burned deeper for our abuser and his supporter.
Where were you then and why are you just coming around?
Couldn’t you hear as each day in hurt and pain we screamed out loud!?
I've been told you can fix everything
But in my case I can't see how.
If you wouldn't save me then...
How can I trust you to save me now?

You think you've seen filthy? Well let me introduce you to me.
I'd fill in more details but this life excluding the eternal keeps me too busy.
I hear you're searching for who to save...move along
I'm not money for the bank, and I actually revel in my wrong.
I am successful, influential, and in my youth's prime;
So the only light I want in my life is the one prefixed with lime.
I don't think you know me, but I could care less if you did.
My life is mine to auction, and I’m ignoring your bid.
When people wonder how I manage to be so loved
I look in a mirror, point and say: "That's How!"
So now that you know I’m the reason behind my rising above,
Do you yet insist that for absolutely nothing I thank you now?

I had always hoped that in me you’d trust.
Letting go of your desperation and romance lust.
You chose to learn the hard way by getting bruised
That if you’d waited upon me you’d not have been so used.
But it pleases my heart that eventually you realized
That no one can truly value you until he sees with my eyes.

What you were forced to suffer was never my will
I loved you prior and I love you still.
In truth, you’d known of me but paid little attention
And thus my message of love - grace - forgiveness yet again knew rejection.
It broke my heart repeatedly, your pain.
But even moreso that it was the reason you wouldn’t let me in.
I longed to wipe those tears; heal that broken body and heart.
Evil has had its fun…won’t you let righteousness play His part?

I sense deceit has been well peddled to you
Else why should you be delighted at being played for a fool?
The issue is you’ve got it all twisted
And I’m hoping you’ll correct that before your time here is ended.
You’re convinced you don’t need me?
Your very heart beat proves you wrong.
If you believe it’s the world that loves you;
Then why am I the only one who hung?
You might have become too blinded to see
Just how much you need saving.
But if you give me the opportunity
You’ll have the best reason to give thanks to me.

It may not always seem reasonable
Especially when life’s weight tries to make you bow.
But rather than regret the past and fear the future
You can let me love you now.



Happy New Year beautiful people. :)
xxx, Kwiksie.~